As a mother of five, I have had many unexpected pleasures in raising my children. Our children have given us so much joy over the years. We have had our struggles along the way, but my husband and I have enjoyed being parents, and we think we have the greatest kids on earth.
I recall an occasion when one of our children came home from work frustrated. When we were saying good night, out of the blue, she had an unusual thank you. She thanked me that she wasn’t a brat. I don’t know if this was because she had faced so many disobedient children that night, or if it was a new revelation. All I know is she saw the results of children getting their way, and she didn’t like it. We began to talk about the past and the battles we had been through together. Fortunately, she acknowledged she was glad I had stood my ground. She thanked me for not letting her win the battles.
Nothing came easy with her, but there is one battle that will always stand out in my mind. It was always a challenge to make her punishment tough enough. The pleasure of what she wanted to do was often greater than the reality of getting in trouble. Our other children often teased her about being spanked, and in her later years, being grounded more days of the calendar year than not.
The battle I am referring to occurred during her first two weeks of preschool. She decided she was not going to obey her teacher. When I picked my child up on the first day of school, I asked the teacher how my daughter’s day went. A very frustrated lady looked at me and began to enlighten me on the day’s events. My beautiful child had refused to do every single thing the teacher had told her to do. Not difficult things mind you, but simple things—like standing to pledge to the flag and cutting with scissors. Of course, I told her I would talk to her, and I attributed her behavior to first day withdrawals, but I knew my daughter, so I was concerned. We went home, and we had a talk. I explained that she was to obey her teacher, and I reminded her that the consequences would be the same as if she disobeyed me.
When we went to school the next morning, I told her teacher if she had any trouble with my little girl to call me at work. As soon as I got to work, the phone rang. Well, guess what! She would not stand and pledge to the flag. On the way to my child’s school, I began to remember all of the things I had been taught and had read. Of course, many authors disagree on how to handle disobedient children. However, the Bible has clear teachings on this type of behavior. So I knew one thing for sure. I had to win this battle. If not, the final war would be lost—the war to keep my child out of the hands of selfishness and Satan. I’m not sure I really knew what was before me, but I spiritually put on my battle paint. I had already tried talking, and now it had obviously progressed to direct disobedience. When I arrived at school, I took care of the problem with the rod of correction. I cried all the way back to work. No one wants to spank her child, but I knew it was necessary. I thought maybe the problem was solved. That afternoon I picked up my child from school and asked her teacher if the rest of the day had been better. My daughter had obeyed, reluctantly, but it had been better. OK! My hopes were up.
The next morning I dropped my child off at school and gave the teacher the same instructions. I received another phone call that morning. “She will not do her work, and she refuses to cooperate.” I got in the car and made my way to the school. For two weeks, it became a morning ritual. I began to pray fervently, “Lord, I have to break her will. She cannot go through life like this.” Finally, after two grueling weeks of consistent discipline, I made a lasting impression. I cried all the way to work, but the next time I talked with her teacher, she told me they had a wonderful day. I praised my daughter, and I was so relieved. The pain had become greater than the pleasure of disobedience. I never received another call from one of her teachers for bad behavior.
We laugh about it now, but no one was laughing then. As we talked that night, we began to recall other incidents that had occurred in her life since her preschool days. We had other struggles that I won’t go into for your sake, but it has been worth it. She has become my friend as well as my daughter. She is grateful that I was willing for her to see me as her enemy in order to later be her friend. Is she perfect? We all know the answer to that question. Will she mess up again? We know the answer to that question, too.
But all of the battles we faced were worth it, because she knew that her parents loved her enough to discipline her. Fortunately, she is grateful for the discipline. If you have a doubt, all of the battles are worth it. Your child’s future is worth fighting the battles!
Our children are all grown now and have children of their own. As parents, we are so thankful for the relationship we have with our children, and we want to thank them for being the best! They have all thanked us in one way or another for being their parents, not allowing them to be brats, and making the effort to instill character in their lives. We hope they feel the same way as they raise their own children. The pleasure has been and always will be ours!
Mrs. Worthington has five children and eleven grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.