ButifNot

It is lurking like a shadow over my head.  Every time I turn around it raises its ugly head.  I think I have beaten it, and it returns again.  Why can’t I escape this feeling inside?  I have never been afraid of storms before.  By the time you read this article, we will know the results of Hurricane Irma.  I am praying it will go out to sea.  But if not…..

I have been in several storms in my lifetime.  The first bad one I remember was when I was a child.  The hurricane happened when we were at my grandmother’s house.  She lived in a small house on a fishing canal.  The house jutted out over the canal, and I could feel the house moving as the waves beat against the house.  Was I afraid?  No, I slept through it.  I guess I figured my dad had everything under control.  I have been through and slept through many storms since that time.  I prepared for them the best I could, and then I went about doing whatever I would normally do.  I had a lot of faith or was just too naïve to know the difference.

In the past twenty years, I have become a little more leery of storms.  I guess Hurricane Floyd was the one that got my attention.  Don’t get me wrong!  I have seen many hurting people on the news, and I have been sad for them as well as thankful I didn’t live in Tornado Alley or other areas that seem to be the hardest hit with storms.  I have prayed for the families that had lost so much and felt sorry for them.  However, when I look at the news and see the people hurting in Texas, I really hurt for them.  Hurricane Matthew changed things.  I truly know how they feel.  It is hard to imagine three times the damage from Hurricane Matthew.  Harvey dropped about three times more rain than Matthew.  That would have almost covered the Academy building.

I must admit, even after Floyd I figured that this was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.  We would all recover and move on.  We would pick up the pieces and continue with life as usual.  Naively, I thought we are in the 500 year flood plain, so this wouldn’t happen again in my lifetime.  Well, a few years back we had a different type of storm hit close to home.  A tornado passed through Snow Hill.  A tornado mind you!  What on earth?  We rarely have tornados in this part of the country.  That only happens in Kansas.  It hit several businesses and a school in our area.  I guess they don’t belong to Kansas anymore.  It was unbelievable.

When Matthew hit, it forever changed my outlook on storms.  I am not pleased with my anxiety in this area.  I am not in panic mode mind you, but I am very concerned.  I realize the greatest tragedy in a storm is the loss of life.  Those families who lost loved ones lost far more than we did.  I hurt for them because they can never bring that loved one back.  No monetary value can be put on the loss of life.

Many people lost property as well as many memories with Hurricane Matthew.  It hit the ministry hard.  We are still recovering.  Shortly after the students got back into the academy, another flood came.  Unfortunately, many people in our area were flooded twice in one year.  That is when I realized I would never think of storms the same way.  Our students were on edge the whole time.  We wondered if it would come up to the academy.  I assured them we were not in danger of flooding this time.  The projections showed that it was not coming this far.  We all breathed a sigh of relief when the waters started to subside.

Now I am faced with the same questions about Irma.  I hesitated to be this transparent with you, but I felt if I was having these feelings, then many of you may be, too.  The aftermath of Hurricane Matthew was the bad part, but this time we may be having a level 4 storm.  At this point, I am telling everyone not to worry; it is too far out to tell.  We need to pray that the storm will go out to sea.  Do not panic!

But what if it doesn’t, Mrs. Worthington?  What if it comes right towards us?  What are we going to do?  What if the school floods again?  What if….So, what is my response?  How do I answer these questions that I am having myself?  I fully believe that God is able to deliver us from this storm.  His hand is strong enough to push it out to sea.  What if He chooses not to?  In Daniel 3:18, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered, “But if not…”

They were about to be thrown into a fiery furnace for not bowing to the king’s image.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had the courage to tell the king God could deliver them if He chose, but if He did not, they were still going to serve God.  They did not put God on trial because of their circumstances.  God is always good!

I learned many things from Hurricane Matthew.  I learned things about myself as well as others.  I have a new appreciation for the people that I work with and many parents in our school.  I also have seen what God can do with a tragedy.  Romans 8:28 is very real in my life.  It has been on many occasions and Hurricane Matthew was no different.  “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” 

This verse does not teach that all things are good; it teaches all things work together for good…to them that are His!  God’s children!  All of the great times and all of the tragedies in life can work together for our good.  What we learn from a situation is up to us.  Everything we go through has the potential to make us stronger and closer to our Lord.  Our attitude and our reactions to a situation control how much we let God take charge of our lives.

So, what is my answer?  I am praying that God will send Hurricane Irma out to sea, but if not, I will trust Him.  I know He loves me, and He would not allow anything in my life that could not work together for good.  Am I still nervous about her?  I would be lying if I said no.  I don’t think God is upset with that.  I am sure God knows we have fears and concerns.  I believe He is pleased when we admit our fears to Him, as long as we still trust Him.  Job stated, though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.

God will get us through this storm as He has done through many other trials in our lives.  Difficulties will come in this sin cursed world.  God does not protect us from them all; He just helps us through them.

But if not… will you trust Him?

Mrs. Worthington has five children and eleven grandchildren.  She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.

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