My granddaughter, Lily, came to church Wednesday night all smiles. She was so excited because she had dressed herself. Her eyes sparkled with pride. Mom grinned sheepishly, “Can you tell she dressed herself?” I am not sure what gave it away. Was it the striped shirt and the plaid bottoms, or was it the mismatched colors? It wasn’t that bad, but it was obvious that she had dressed herself.
Her mother explained that Lily had run into the room excited that she had dressed herself. She didn’t have the heart to tell her she had to change. As children, we learn many things. With our parents’ guidance we learn to walk, potty train, dress ourselves, and eat with a fork. The list is endless.
It is OK to make messes when you are learning, but there comes a time when those messes are not acceptable. Children should not expect their parents to always clean up after them. They should at some point clean up after themselves.
Unfortunately, some children never clean up after themselves. I know an adult who is probably in his 60’s whose mom is still cleaning up his messes. If he is short on money, she bails him out. She is close to 90 and still cooks for him and washes his laundry, too. He doesn’t do anything to help with the upkeep around the house. He has never grown up.
What happened here? I know the man is to blame for his actions, but in some ways, the mother is to blame as well. It is apparent she never taught him to fly out of the nest. I think many times we, as parents, try to protect to a fault. We don’t want our children to be hurt or have to do without anything, and in the process, we help them out of the cocoon.
From our studies in biology, we learned that the butterfly will never fly if we help it out of the cocoon. It needs to struggle out of the cocoon to exercise its wings. The difficulty of escaping the cocoon helps the butterfly to soar.
When we pamper our children and give in to their whining and demands, we are causing them harm. I saw a woman in a store tell a child that he could not have a candy bar. He began to cry and demand. She told him again that he could not have it, and he got louder. I was dumbfounded when she bought him the candy bar. What did she just teach him? If I cry long enough, I will get my way. She just hurt him in ways she may not understand. We must teach our children that we mean what we say. Life is not going to bow to their image.
I believe parents who continue to try to make life easy on their children do them a disservice. Young people need to learn what it takes to keep a home running smoothly. They need to learn what it is like to do chores, and as they get older, pay bills. Young people should get jobs and help pay some of their expenses. If not, what happens when they get out of the home? Are they going to expect Mom and Dad to help them continue their present lifestyle? I have seen this over and over again.
I know there will be times when all parents help their children. In these times it should not be expected but appreciated tremendously. I also know there will be times when the children help the parents. This is called a family. I am so grateful for my family. I don’t know what I would do without them.
I am also grateful to be in God’s family. I am a child of the King. But I have to ask myself, “Have I grown up in the faith?” I have been saved for over 45 years now. Am I still a babe needing a bib, or am I able to handle the strong meat of the word? Hebrews 5:11-14 tells us that some of the Christians were not mature enough to handle the deeper Word. Some should have been teachers but were having to be taught the basics of God’s Word again. Am I one of those people?
Do I exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, or do I show more of the character of the lost? In Galatians 5:22-24, Paul talks about the character the Holy Spirit produces in the Christian. This fruit is given to every Christian. It is not like the gifts of the Spirit which are divided to every Christian, “severally as He will.” We cannot say we do not have the fruit. We just choose not to exhibit it. Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, faith, meekness, and temperance (self-control) are all ours if we choose to use them. It is like all other areas of life. It takes practice.
If I want to grow in my faith, I must study God’s Word, pray, and let His Spirit live in me so that I manifest His fruit. I don’t want to continue to be a spoiled baby in Christ. I want to be the beautiful butterfly and spread my wings and soar for Him. I want Him to be proud of how I handle the struggles that come my way. With His guidance and the advice of His Word along with His still small voice, I can become the child He would have me to be. I can bring glory and honor to Him.
Isn’t it time for us to stop making excuses for our behavior? Shouldn’t we be eating the steak and potatoes of His Word? Why aren’t we more loving to our neighbors? Why are we grumpy and short-tempered? Why are we so out of control in so many areas of our life? Isn’t it time to grow up? It is a choice we make. Let’s make it today!
Mrs. Worthington has five children and eleven grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.