What is love? People have made millions trying to answer that question. Have you been in a bookstore and seen titles that are about love? You’ve seen them! Aisle upon aisle of books about love and how to improve relationships with your spouse, children, friends, and even your pets. Lots of advice out there, some good and some bad.
I hate to disappoint the authors, but my family would blow all of their theories out of the water. We have a great but unique family.
My husband is different from any man I know. What makes him tick? I am still trying to figure him out, and enjoying every minute. We have been together so long now we know what each other is thinking and sometimes finish each other’s sentences. I am getting closer to figuring him out each day. Maybe I will understand him completely before the Lord takes us home. But what would be the fun in that? I guess a little mystery is always a good thing.
Over the years our children have each been completely different. It is amazing how children can be raised in the same household and have the same rules and guidelines, but turn out so unique. All of our children have different interests and hobbies. Some work together but have different but similar ideals. Then when you add the grandchildren to the mix, it really gets interesting. Each of the twelve has very different likes and dislikes as well as a hodgepodge of personalities. But one thing is for sure, there is a lot of love in this family.
I have the pleasure of being at school with ten of my grandchildren, and when we walk by each other in the halls, there is a fond smile and quite often an “I love you” that passes our lips and a hug to go with it. When our children lived at home, we would pass each other and say “I love you.” That never grows old. And guess what, our children are grown and have children of their own and we never tire of hearing them say, “I love you.” No matter where I am at or how old I become, I love the hugs and I love those words. There are no sweeter words on earth.
The words “I love you” would not mean anything if their actions did not meet their words. I have the privilege of seeing the love in action. Oh, it is nice to get a present once in a while, especially the ones that are for no reason at all. But it is the things that we do that show our love.
When we do things that are inconvenient in order to help others, that shows our love. I call it out-giving or out-serving the other. Of course, it has to be with no ulterior motive, except to show love. Little things can mean so much. If anyone knows my husband, they know his favorite drink is Diet Dr. Pepper. I try to make sure he never runs out of Diet Dr. Pepper. He makes sure my car always has gas in it. He doesn’t want me to have to stop and get gas after dark or any other time for that matter. It is just one way he tries to take care of me. Can he buy his own Dr. Pepper? Can I pump my own gas? Of course! Are these life-changing things? No, but they show us that each is special to the other. The trick is that even though we are busy, our mates need to be convinced they are the most important people in the world to us, next to our Savior. There is not enough time in the day to do all we need to do, so little things become especially important.
Another way to see the “I love you” is don’t argue. People tell me a marriage is not healthy if you don’t argue. I don’t believe that. I am not saying don’t disagree, because that is not possible, but don’t argue. When people argue, too many things have become important to them. If everything is important, then you will have to argue to defend your position.
My husband often says to couples in counseling that for them to work out their problems at least one of them needs to die. It would be better for both to die, but the death of one would be a good start. The other one would hopefully come around. This of course means to die to self, your wants and desires. If we are getting a new car, who cares what color it is? If we are going out to eat, who cares what restaurant it is? Dead people don’t care about those things. There are things we are going to care about, but if we limit them to things that affect eternity, we will have less arguments and more bliss. Love will be shown.
Is my family perfect? No, but to me, it is the best one in the world! We have our difficulties, but there is love. They are the greatest!
Ask yourself, is love manifested in my home? Would other people say that is what stands out about my family? I hope if any one thing distinguishes my family in eternity, it will be that there was love.
Mrs. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.