The story is told of a philosophy professor who once stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up an empty Mason jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.  Next, the professor then picked up a container of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.  Finally, the professor picked up a container of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, as he shook the jar the sand filled up everything else.  He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the very important things – your relationship with God, your mate, your family – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

 The pebbles are the important things that matter — not very important like the larger stones —but still important — like your health, your job, your house, and your finances.  The sand is everything else, the small stuff.”

The professor continued, “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important. Even if you put the important pebbles in first, you will still have to leave out at least one of the very important rocks. There is only one order in which they all will fit.  Take care of the rocks first — the things that really matter —the very important stuff.  Then prioritize the important pebbles next.  After all, in the end, everything else is nothing more than sand.”

There are a lot of things that might be considered sand?  Personally, I would say that bitterness, vanity, wealth, and most television and sports programs might be described as sand.  All of these things may not be necessarily bad, but they can easily rob you of the time you need to do the more important stuff.

So, now that we have all the sand out of the way, let’s address the large stones; the things that should be most important in your life.  Remember, these are the things that “must” find room in the jar if we are to have a rich and fulfilling life.

Your Personal Relationship With God

Many people have no relationship with God at all, and sometimes even Christians place their relationship with the Lord far down their list of daily priorities.  It has been reduced to pebble status; in others it has been reduced to nothing more than sand. The problems with this are numerous.  Our relationship with God is not just about going to heaven.  Our faith inspires, leads, directs, and moves us to do, to overcome, to believe, and to accomplish.  A healthy relationship with God is crucial in living life anywhere near its potential.

For the Christian, faithlessness is life at the edge of hopelessness. It is a life untethered from an assurance beyond the obvious, the seen and the tangible.  It is our daily walk with God that takes us by the hand when the next step is obscured and uncertain. An active faith in God is a bedrock of assurance upon which we can build. We will accomplish little of lasting value without this large stone in our life.

Your Personal Relationship With Others

After placing the rock of your relationship with God into the jar, next would come the relationship with your family, starting with your spouse; if married.  How we treat those closest to us is more significant as a measure of our character than how we treat the stranger or the person we want something from.

I’ve seen families where parents treat their children worse than their friends and their spouses worse than strangers. Sometimes they treat their family worse than their pets.  This ought not to be.

The quality of our relationships is a predictor of the quality of our lives because most of life’s meaning lies within the context of other people. That’s what our spiritual gifts are for.  Most of our gifts are designed to equip us to minister to others.  It is in our relationships with others we find our ministry and fulfilment.  When we lift up others, we are lifted in the process.

Your Relationship With Yourself

Self-government, dignity, and respect for yourself is important.  I must respect the guy I face in the mirror every morning.  I am not sure people know what self-respect is anymore.  Wearing your britches down to the knees and women wearing tights as outside clothing just doesn’t make sense to me.  This is a strange age we live in when individuals and families go on national television and display their family’s dirtiest secrets. Celebrities write tell-all autobiographies that open doors far too wide for dignity to have place.

The ability to like yourself and have a deep respect for who you are can revolutionize your life.  People with dignity and character simply live differently than those without. They don’t do the same things. They don’t think the same way. They don’t need the same things to make their life full.  Research from Stanford found that 85% of our success is attitude, while the other 15% is ability. Attitude is about what you expect from yourself. Expect the best, and you’ll get the best. Expect less, and that is likely what you will get.

 

Your Relationship With The World

My relationship with the world identifies what’s important to me and how I prioritize my time, energy, and attention. The values we hold define the outer limit of what we’re willing to tolerate and what we’re not. They determine the context of what we’re willing to pursue and what we won’t.  Our values, as they relate to the world, will act as anchors in storms which will keep us from drifting aimlessly to nowhere.

Well those are four rocks that certainly must be in your jar.  Interestingly, they all involve relationships.  I am sure you could think of others.  When we live lives disconnected from those things that truly matter, our lives start to ring hollow and empty.  When, on the other hand, we live our lives dedicated to those things that matter most, a greater sense of happiness accompanies our earthly pilgrimage.

Travis, my younger son, was a bit of a prankster at Christmas.  Sometimes, he would place a small gift inside 5-6 progressively larger boxes.  Someone would inevitably tear into the wrapping, excited about the prospects waiting inside. But all they would initially find was an empty shell of a gift. All ribbon and wrapping; no substance.  That’s what life is like when we spend it in the pursuit of things that don’t matter. The packaging may glitter and sparkle, but there’s nothing inside but emptiness.

So, as we enter this New Year, look closely at the things that have filled the empty slots of your life.  Take stock. Evaluate. We must learn to love and appreciate the weightier things of life. Find them. Recognize them. Embrace them. And let them take you to a life that is deeply and richly rewarding, meaningful, and happy.

So, what matters most to you? What are the most important stones in your life, what might be represented by the smaller  pebbles, and how much sand fills in the voids?  Or, perhaps you have been guilty of putting the sand in first?  Are things out of order?  Are the rocks crying out for attention?

It has been said that, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”

Happy New Year!

 Dr. Worthington has been in the ministry over forty years and serves as President of Pathway Ministries.