Have you ever wondered where the mother was in the parable of the Prodigal Son? This beautiful story unfolds in Luke 15:11-32.

A father had two sons. The younger son wanted to get his inheritance early, and his father agreed to give it to him. Let’s call him Tom. Tom left home to make his way in the world with his newly found fortune. He wasted every dime in worldly adventures. I am sure he had lots of friends helping him spend his money.

One day Tom ran out of money, and he ran out of friends. There was a famine in the land, and he became very hungry. Tom got a job feeding the pigs and got so hungry he wanted to eat the pig food.

The most important phrase in the parable follows, “and when he came to himself.” He began to think of home as he sat in the pig pen. Tom knew that his father’s servants ate better than he did, and he longed to go home. He practiced what he would tell his father, and he began his journey home.

His father saw him a long way off. He ran to him, kissed him, and welcomed him home. He welcomed Tom home as his son, not his servant.

This son had to get in the pig pen before he ever came to himself. I wonder if mom would have let him get in the pig pen?

The Bible does not mention the young man’s mother. It is possible she is dead and no longer a part of his life. Perhaps she died in child birth or from a serious disease. The truth is, we really don’t know.

Perhaps the mother questioned the father giving the son his inheritance. She would have known Tom was not mature enough to handle that much money. She might have objected to her husband handing over that kind of cash. She could only imagine what kind of trouble her son was going to get into.

Perhaps Tom’s parents had many conversations about him. They often discussed his rebellious attitude. His mom worked so hard to fix it, and his father wanted to let him experience the school of hard knocks. He felt Tom needed to experience the consequences of his actions.

I wonder if Tom’s mother was fussing about the decision the father had made. Did she complain and gripe because Dad did not listen to her, and now her baby boy was off in the world living riotously? Did she claim it was his fault her son had left?

It is possible Tom’s mother was like this, but I prefer another scenario. Perhaps mom was anxiously waiting for her son to come home, too. She did not understand her husband’s decision, and it broke her heart when her son hugged her for the last time. Mom also understood that Tom was very rebellious and had not listened to their counsel.

Tom’s mother and father had discussed on many occasions how they were afraid for their son. When Tom’s father shared with his wife what he was planning to do, she was afraid for her child. She knew she had lost her son already, but she trusted her husband.

I would like to think every morning Tom’s parents stood together looking for him to come home. If Tom’s mother were alive, I would hope she would be right by her husband’s side.

The truth is, God gives children moms and dads for a reason. We are wired differently. We each play a different role in our children’s lives.

In general, fathers want to teach their children to be strong and courageous. When life gets tough, we must get tougher. They want to teach them to govern their lives by principles. Whereas, mothers nurture and put the Band-aids on the “boo boos.” We want to kiss it and make it better.

Moms and Dads need to be a mixture of both. A mom teaches herself to be strong and not let the children whine their way out of situations. A dad learns to have compassion on the “boo boo.” We need to be balanced in our child rearing.

If Tom had not gotten in the pig pen, he would never have come to himself. He would never have straightened out nor come back home. Unfortunately, moms and dads today want to bail their children out of every difficulty and every struggle. They do not allow them to think for themselves.

I know someone who had a difficult decision to make. His son was constantly getting into trouble with the police. He had bailed him out once, and he ended right back in jail for the same thing. He finally decided to let him stay in jail for a while. I guess it was the scared straight tactic. It worked! His son was not perfect, but he straightened out.

As a mother, I tend to want to fix things. Many times I may get in the way of what God is trying to do in my child’s life. It is so very important that we spend time in prayer and ask God what He would have us to do.

When our children move out of the home, they need to learn through the struggles. They don’t need everything that their parents have now. If they are married, they need to grow together in the day to day struggles. They should build their home together and figure out the problems. When we fix everything, we handicap their marriage and their ability to care for themselves.

Unfortunately, moms and dads seem to have changed. In times past, Dad was a better disciplinarian than Mom, but it is not always the case anymore. Moms and Dads need to teach their children to make the hard choices.

What would happen if your children got in the pig pen? Would you get them out before the lesson was learned? It is so hard to watch our children hurt. We take our children to the doctor to get a shot because we know it is for their good. I guess it is the same philosophy. As a mother to adult children, they sometimes have problems my husband and I could fix. There are times when we come to the rescue, but more times than not, we pray and wait for God to work it out in their lives.

Is it easy? No. It is painful knowing we can fix something, but realizing it would only hurt them in the long run to do so. I can only imagine how God must feel when we we are on the wrong road. He loves us with a perfect love, yet knows where the road we are on is taking us. He patiently waits for us to make the U-turn and head back home.

Isn’t it time to head in the direction that leads home? Our Father is waiting!