Another dream I have for my children is that they will be tough. I don’t mean calloused or crabby, but I mean strong. Many people have strong muscles, and there is no shortage of those who would like to tell you so. I am not impressed with physical strength, but I am impressed with inner strength. What makes a person strong on the inside?
They possess an inner strength that keeps going. The kind of toughness that will keep them from quitting. When everyone else is giving up, they refuse to. When people tell them it can’t be done, they refuse to believe it. Do you realize that in 1983 professionals told my husband that a Christian radio station would not survive in this area? He felt the Lord leading him to try, and he did not give up. After fifteen years, GoMix Radio was established. God blessed, and twenty-five years later, we now have a network of eleven stations.
Another kind of inner strength is required not to crumble at every crisis. You would be surprised at things some people consider a crisis. A man at a restaurant got upset and left because he had to pay for extra cheese. What do you say to that? I think he needs to have a real problem. I wonder how his family feels. I feel sorry for the children. If that man gets so upset over something so trivial, how will he react with his children when they spill the milk? I admire someone who can keep his head in a crisis.
Many times, there are major crises in our lives. We have to learn to handle them in a way that pleases the Lord. I have had to handle small crises and large crises. The thing to remember is to teach our children to handle the small ones so they can handle the big ones that come along. In our personal lives as well as the ministry, there have been many crises that have occurred in our lives. Since we went through the smaller ones in our lives, we were able to handle the larger ones because we did it together.
It takes a strong person to be willing to do what needs to be done. Have you ever met anyone who can wear a suit and tie and conduct business, but can just as well roll up his sleeves and clean the toilet? We have had many workers like that in our ministry. Joe Patton was like that. He was the engineer who worked for the ministry keeping the transmitters running and in good repair. He has a lot of letters after his name. Joe was willing to pick up a vacuum and empty the trash cans without even being asked, yet he was very good at doing his high-tech responsibilities as well. He did not wait for someone else to do it. He did not have the attitude, “It is not my job.” His attitude was, “How can I help?” He is no longer able to work, and we miss him greatly.
So what makes a person strong? Were they born that way? I don’t think so. Were they raised that way? Could be. I know it has to help. How do you raise tough children? I am not talking about telling a child not to cry when he is hurt or when he is sad. There are appropriate times to cry, but you do want to raise children who will not whine at every turn and crumble at every problem. We could start by not giving them their every whim. Start saying no to the “I wants.”
I believe one experience that made our children strong was when money was tight. It is always tight, but it was extremely tight during their first few years of school. They had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day for lunch for a few years. We had lots of hot dogs at supper time, too. When our situation improved, they did not want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a while. Mind you, steak was never in the budget, but we no longer ate hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day. The children are grown and married now. Did this make them stronger? I believe they know they can make it in tough times. There is no crisis God can’t handle. They saw the Lord provide for us when we did not know how He would do it. They know God will take care of them.
How can we teach our children not to be quitters? Let them see you stick things out when the going gets tough. When our children have chores to do, do we let them get by if it is not done correctly? How many times do we just do the chore because it is far less trouble than making them do it right? I remember distinctly a time when my mother called me back into the kitchen after doing dishes because I had not cleaned the sink and the counters. She called me back to finish several times that night, in fact. It did not matter that my favorite show was on or if I was doing my homework. She was teaching me not to quit until the job was done right. You say that is a small thing. I believe that is how we instill values in our children. It would have been easier for her to have done it herself. I am sure I had an attitude by the time I finished. But you know what? I cleaned it right next time. If we wait until our children are teenagers to teach these lessons, it will be much more difficult.
How do you teach your child to do what needs to be done? My husband’s father taught him this lesson on a simple walk down the street. They were walking along, and some trash was on the sidewalk. His father told him to pick it up. My husband was young, and you can guess what he said. “I didn’t put it there.” His father told him it is everyone’s job to keep our country clean and beautiful. My husband never walked by a piece of paper again without picking it up. What if everyone was taught this and lived it? Can you imagine how beautiful our world would be? Can you imagine how much money would be saved? This simple lesson, among others, taught him no job is too simple for him to do.
Many people want to make things easier for their children. Why? I am sure there are ways we want to do a better job raising our children, but we need to be sure to build their character at the same time. Character is what makes them strong. At the academy, we study 66 character traits, and it would take far too long to go over them all. We need to seek to build character in our children. Will that ensure your child is strong? It is still your child’s choice whether or not to internalize what you have taught him. I know of several couples who had multiple children. Some are strong, and some are not. It is still their choice. We need to give them every possible advantage.
Our world is not getting better. I am not trying to be a pessimist, but I am stating a fact. Our children are the future. If we don’t make them tough and teach them to think, they have no future. We must prepare them for the road ahead. We must teach them to rely on God and His precepts. There may come a time when we will not be able to go to church in the open. What will they do? Will they be able to handle it? Will they stand for what is right, or will they take the easier path? Physical strength can be important. But without inner strength, our children will not survive. We must teach them to be tough with many small life lessons along the way.
Mrs. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.