Nazareth was a little town snuggled in the hills overlooking the Plain of Esdraelon. Most likely it consisted primarily of some small houses, a synagogue probably built on its highest knoll, and a marketplace at the entrance to the village. When the New Testament era dawned, its population was likely around one hundred people, mostly farmers, but also some skilled craftsmen whose shops were found in the marketplace. These tradesmen likely included a potter, a weaver, and a blacksmith. We also are introduced to a carpenter who made his home in Nazareth. Although not recorded for us, some historic events most likely transpired in that humble carpenter shop in Nazareth.
The carpenter himself, a man in the prime of life named Joseph, was engaged to a young girl named Mary, probably still in her teen years. She was a sinner like all the rest of us, but she was highly favored by God. The Lord was with her, and she enjoyed a wonderful moment-by-moment relationship with God.
Yet, in spite of her intimate knowledge of God, it was a shocking and fearful experience when the angel Gabriel appeared to her with a grand announcement (Luke 1:30-33). She didn’t totally understand the angel’s message, so Gabriel explained the supernatural phenomenon that would accomplish this unbelievable feat (Luke 1:34-35). It was a miracle that could only be accomplished by the unlimited power of God, and Elizabeth’s miraculous pregnancy was cited by the angel as evidence. Of course Mary had a free will so the ultimate decision to resist the will of God or to become the willing servant through whom God could carry out His plan was hers to make. Furthermore, this decision is basically a matter of trust. As the story unfolds, we learn several lessons about trust.
First, we see that Mary had great trust in God.
“What a great honor,” you might say, “to be chosen as the mother of the Messiah. How could she decline?” But, let’s give that some thought. You and I can say that because we know the end of the story, but put yourself in Mary’s place for a moment. Do you think anybody would really believe that this child was conceived of the Holy Ghost? Don’t you think that most people would conclude that Mary was covering up a sinful escapade with Joseph? Was there not a possibility that Mary was just trying to avoid being stoned for fornication?
And what about Joseph? He would know that he was not responsible for Mary’s condition. What would he say? Would he still be willing to marry her? Was she willing to give him up if need be? And what about the child? Would not the child carry the stigma of illegitimacy with him throughout his entire life? In that brief moment in the angel’s presence, all of Mary’s hopes and dreams for the future flashed before her mind, and she could see every one of them instantly shattered.
The question boils down to one thing for Mary: “Can I trust God to work out every problem I will encounter if I submit myself to His will?” Mary had enjoyed a warm personal relationship with her Lord. But now He was asking her to face the greatest question in life for a believer walking in fellowship with Him: “Mary, do you trust Me? You will face difficulty and hardship if you follow My will…but will you still trust Me?”
Mary was a thinking lady, a pondering lady. Twice we are told that she kept certain things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19, 51). But she did not take a lot of time to make her decision. She answered immediately (Luke 1:38).Her decision was to submit to God’s will and to trust Him with the consequences. Submission to God’s will almost always involves some risk. But God has promised to work out all the details together for ultimate good. It is apparent that Mary had great trust in God.
Next, we see that Joseph had great trust in Mary.
The chronology here is not totally clear. But we might assume after Mary’s return from visiting Elizabeth, the secret could no longer be hidden. Did Mary tell Joseph of the miraculous conception? Did he find her story hard to believe even though he loved her deeply? Or, did he accept it readily? Was his decision to break the engagement because he doubted her word, or was it because he considered himself unworthy to marry the mother of the Messiah? Was he thinking that Mary would have to raise the child in the Temple? Whatever his thoughts, one thing is certain, there was a conflict raging in Joseph’s soul. Fact is, whether he believed Mary’s story or not, others would definitely not believe it, and he would live with gossip about an unfaithful wife for the rest of his life. And although his heart was breaking, he was leaning toward quietly terminating the relationship and sparing her any public embarrassment. His mind was almost made up; however he was still open to the Lord’s direction. I would imagine he spent hours in quiet meditation regarding the right course of action. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife; for that which has is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost (Matthew 1:20-21). Now, the issue was settled. It didn’t matter what the town gossipers would say; Joseph believed! It was probably one of the greatest acts of trust ever exhibited between a man and a woman.
In reality, every marriage is a relationship of trust. When we stand at the altar and listen to our true love promise to forsake all others and cleave to us alone, we believe it. When we hear their solemn promise to love us for better or worse until death parts us, we believe it. And because we believe it, we make the same promises in return and commit ourselves to a lifelong relationship. Trust in each other is a foundation stone in a good marriage, and it must grow as the years pass.
Of course, trust does put us at our husband’s or wife’s mercy. It makes us totally vulnerable, and we can get hurt that way. When we really believe someone and later find out that we have been deceived, it makes us feel foolish and humiliated. But what other choice do we have? Without trust there can be no relationship. So we ask God for the grace to keep on trusting, and we believe that God will use our trust to make our mate more trustworthy should the need arise.
The angel of God appeared to Joseph two more times, and those appearances reveal another element of trust in the nativity story…
Finally, we see Mary’s great trust in Joseph.
So, Joseph and Mary had completed the trek to Bethlehem, and the Christ child born in a stable was now history. It would appear the young family settled down in Bethlehem, possibly planning to make it their new home. Nearly two years would pass before the Wise Men arrived from Persia to worship the newborn king.
The Magi unintentionally alerted King Herod to this potential threat to his throne. That was the occasion of another message from an angel of the Lord to Joseph in a dream: “Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy him” (Matthew 2:13). While it was still night, Joseph gathered some of his belongings together, took Mary and Jesus, left for Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. Something interesting is now beginning to occur. Up to this point, Mary has been the more prominent figure in the Christmas story, yet now, Joseph is the one to whom God gave His instructions. Joseph was the head of his family, and he was charged with protecting Jesus from Herod’s wrath. We might see how Mary might question Joseph’s leadership. She could have said, “I’m the one God speaks to in this family, and He has not said one word to me about some trip to Egypt.” But no, Mary trusted Joseph’s leadership.
This was a trip of about two hundred miles over mountains, wilderness, and desert, with a baby under two years of age. Most mothers can appreciate the degree of inconvenience that involved. I doubt whether Mary really wanted to go. If they had to leave Bethlehem, why not go back home? Why not go back to Nazareth? Wouldn’t they be just as safe there? But there is no indication in Scripture that Mary ever questioned Joseph’s decision. And it happened again.After Herod’s death, the angel spoke to Joseph in Egypt: “Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and go into the land of Israel; for they are dead which sought the young child’s life” (Matthew 2:20). Again, Joseph obeyed immediately; and again, Mary trusted Joseph to do the right thing.
As we saw in the lives of Abraham and Sarah, submission for a wife means trusting God to work through her husband to do what is best for her. And that includes trusting his decisions. But that level of trust is not exceptionally difficult when she knows her husband is acting in her best interest and is taking his directions from the Lord, as Joseph was. It gets even more complicated. It seems their initial plans were to move back to Bethlehem, but again God warned Joseph that Herod’s son was reigning in his place. So again God gave him directions, and he returned to Nazareth where Mary’s parents lived (Matthew 2:22-23). Joseph made his decisions in accord with the will of God. God apparently never told Mary about any of these plans but gave her the understanding to follow her husband.
Men, we have no right to ask our wives to submit to us when we are arbitrarily expressing our own opinions, asserting our own selfish wills, or doing what is obviously best for us alone. But when we have clear directions from God that are best for all concerned and can share them fully with our wives, then a Godly wife will be able to submit without hesitancy. Men, we have an obligation to lead our families in the path of God’s choosing, not our own. We must learn to consult the Lord about every decision, spending time in prayer to seek His wisdom and searching His Word for His principles to guide us. And if we have an unquestionable desire to do God’s will regardless of our own personal preferences, He will protect us from making foolish mistakes that will bring harm to our families.
As our wives see that manifested in our lives, unless they are rebellious, they will be free to follow our leadership with confidence and trust. Trust is not an easy and automatic response. It needs to be developed, particularly in those who like to do things their own way. But, we can help others build a stronger trust in us by our own deepening commitment to the will of God. When they see that we are yielded to Him, they will find it easier to trust us.
So, what have we seen? We see that both Mary and Joseph trusted God. We also see that Joseph trusted Mary and that Mary trusted Joseph. If you put that all together, it sounds like a pretty good marriage to me.
So, can you think of areas of distrust in your relationship with your spouse? Perhaps you need to tenderly share them with one another. Have you been guilty of betraying your mate’s trust? If so, what can you do to increase or rebuild your trust in each other? Are you ever guilty of expressing your own personal opinions and expecting your wife (or husband) to submit? Have you learned to consult the Lord on every decision? Good marriages are built upon trust; trust that is first placed in God and then placed in each other.
As we enter this glad Christmas Season, my prayers for each of our loyal Faith Partners and PathPointe readers will be for a joyous and safe Holiday and a prosperous New Year. I sincerely thank you for the opportunity you give me to share these simple messages with you each month. Blessings to you and yours.
Dr. Worthington has been in the ministry over forty years and serves as President of Pathway Ministries.