One of the greatest privileges of my life has been to teach my own children and grandchildren. I have taught them in school and in Sunday School. It is one of those things that is a mixed blessing. I was able to observe elements of my children’s character in a setting with their peers and authority figures as well as know more about how they interacted with their friends. One of the parts I loved the most was being near them throughout the day. I know my children didn’t always feel that it was a blessing, but to me, it was always special.
My challenge was to make sure my children did not hate the fact that I was their teacher. How do I keep it separate? There were several uncontrollable circumstances. We were almost always among the first to arrive and the last to leave. Being the principal’s kid and the teacher’s kid added its own pressures. In the first few years at the academy, their Dad was their principal, too. Their classmates seemed to be watching them to see if they received special privileges. We were careful to be sure to treat each student the same. In reality, our children had more responsibilities than the other students because they helped with the ministry. When we were at our first location, we had the Worthington lawn and cleaning service. The children worked in the afternoons mowing grass and cleaning the building. In the summers, the staff and the staff kids painted the building and did the repairs. These are things their classmates did not see.
I began to talk to myself each day when my children would do things I deemed unacceptable. I would ask myself, “What would you do in this situation if another student was guilty of this behavior?”
It was hard sometimes because as their mom I had high expectations, but at that moment, I was their teacher. I had to discipline myself to only penalize as I would any other student. When it became necessary to involve a parent, I would go through the motions of calling my student’s parent.
For example, if my child did not complete his homework, I would give demerits and the appropriate detentions. When the discipline at school wasn’t working, then I would call his parents for help. I would have a conversation with my husband similar to this. “Mr. Worthington, I am concerned about your son. He has not completed his homework for a couple of days. Will you help me out here?” Then my darling husband would go through the motions of talking to his wife, and we would decide how to follow through. The children sometimes thought we were crazy, especially the ones that were in the most trouble.
As in any other family, some of our children were not as cooperative at school as others. We would tell them their teacher had called today and informed their father and me of a problem. We would say their teacher had called and we discussed the issue. They always gave us this look like we were crazy, but they knew what we were trying to accomplish. This is Mom and Dad talking to you about something your teacher called us about. We were trying to wear the different hats. On one particular occasion, the behavior called for a conference with the teacher, so to make the point of the different roles, I switched chairs during the conversation. My child still remembers this incident to this day. This process helped to make having a mom as a teacher bearable.
All five children have graduated now, and I pray they are better for the experience. They all have children that are attending or have graduated from the academy. Try wearing the hats of Grandma, the principal, and the teacher who also has to call about discipline issues. I think this one is the hardest. As Grandma, I really don’t want to be the one telling the parents their child is in trouble. The first time I had to deal with a discipline issue with one of my grandchildren I shed so many tears, and it doesn’t get any easier either over time. I knew the child was going to be in trouble at school and at home, but I knew it had to be done. We had decided a long time ago that our children would be treated the same as the other children, and it had to be the same for the grandchildren as well.
My husband and I also work together as a team. In reality though, he is my boss. How do you like that? We work quite well together. How? … Because he gives me everything I ask for. Seriously, we try to keep things separate. He is the president of Pathway Ministries and does a very good job. I am the principal of Pathway Christian Academy, which is a branch of Pathway Ministries. I know the realm of my authority, within the parameters of my job description. I try to ask myself if my husband was not my boss, would I have this expectation or request. There are some fringe benefits. Best of all, I get to see my husband more than most wives see theirs, which I consider quite a privilege.
As parents, we also have multiple roles. My husband is asked quite frequently about cars or loans. Since we had seven drivers in the house, there was always a car problem. That is definitely not my department. Sometimes we have been small loan bankers when our children ran a little short. We make pretty good counselors, when they let us. I guess they figure we have been around a long time, so we should know.
We don’t have to play the disciplinarian role much anymore. We are proud that our children can call us friend. We are still here when they need us. Next to my husband, my children are some of my closest friends. Their father is a resource of spiritual wisdom who is always available to tap. I honestly can say he is the wisest man I know. The children see their father living what he believes, which is the most valuable gift he can give them. We have played all of these roles on the same day when necessary.
If you examine your life, you will see the many different hats you wear, as well. The hard part is knowing which one to wear at a specific time. Most of us probably wear the wrong hat too often. Isn’t it exciting though to know that our Heavenly Father knows what we need when we need it? He has no trouble knowing which hat to wear at a given time. When we need a friend, He is there. He knows everything there is to know about cars, so He could lead you to the right one or the right mechanic. When we need a daddy, He is there for us to crawl up in His lap and get a hug. Of course, when we need discipline, He is there to dish it out. He is the perfect blend.
Just like when our children do not utilize all of their resources, we fail to go to our greatest resource, our Heavenly Father. I am glad my Heavenly Father knows what I need and when I need it. Thank goodness, He is not like me! He is perfect!
Mrs. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.