Have you ever been betrayed? I would guess many of us have in one way or another. It is one of the most bitter experiences of life. Someone you loved pulled out a knife when you weren’t looking and stabbed you right in the back. Betrayal rips apart your heart like nothing else, as anger and grief course through you, leaving you feeling used, cheated, and helpless.
Betrayal can change your outlook on life permanently, especially if it is at the hands of an individual that is close to you. It can cause you to question your ability to really trust anyone again and it also can cause you to question your own judgement. It can destroy your confidence in yourself. As Shakespeare wrote, it’s “the most unkindest cut of all.”
Betrayal is serious because it destroys trust, and without trust there can be no relationships. Without trust, society, families, institutions, and most certainly marriages cannot function. Betrayal shakes a person to his core because it ruptures his ability to trust. Whether it’s a spouse having an affair, a friend spilling your secrets, a co-worker sabotaging your career, or a fellow Christian shattering your reputation, betrayal is one of the worst things you can do to someone. It’s so bad Dante put it as the lowest level of hell with the greatest betrayer of them all; Satan himself.
Why did Dante make betrayal the worst sin, surpassing even rape, theft, and murder? We may not know his thoughts exactly, but one reason must have been that betrayal is the intentional defilement of the greatest gift God has given to us, that gift is the very essence of God’s nature; love. It is only fitting, therefore, that those who betray love are condemned to the realm farthest from love and where they keep company with the greatest hater and betrayer of them all. What causes people to betray the trust that has been placed in them? Let’s consider a few reasons.
The first may be excessive ambition, jealousy, greed, lust or passion. When a person will not control his vices they will rule over him. An alcoholic or a drug addict will betray the trust placed in him because his addiction is overpowering. I have known of teenagers who would steal from their own parents to finance their drug habit. It is greater than any sense of loyalty, integrity, or honesty we may have. A person’s need to be wealthy and lead a luxurious life may cause him to steal, embezzle or misuse information given to him in confidence. Allowing sexual temptation to overpower the will may cause a person to betray his marriage.
The second reason might be a feeling that betrayal is necessary to achieve a greater good. The person may consider betrayal in this instance not as evil, but as good. A person may feel that in order to help another person it is okay to betray him. For example, if you know of someone who is about to do something dangerous or illegal you might report them to their parents or to authorities to achieve a greater good. If you knew of someone who was a traitor to his country or someone who intended to commit an act of terrorism, it certainly would be wise to betray their trust. If you have a friend that intends on doing something foolish against the wishes of their parents or spouse; you might feel justified in exposing their intentions.
The third reason could be because people like to prove they know best, or are smarter than others. Some people like to play with others’ minds and manipulate lives just to stir up trouble. People like to think they are smarter than the people they are betraying, so somehow that makes them feel that it’s okay. Often this deception might even be satanic deception. Remember, knowing what is best is only half the responsibility; you also have to know how to present it. If you are tempted to betray someone because you think they don’t understand what you are going through, make sure you do everything you can to let them know what you are going through, before you go through with your betrayal. Give them a chance; surely you owe them that much.
The act of betrayal can be driven by a lot of things. These things can push people, even as close as family, to act against you for their own personal reasons, even if it means causing you pain. Stories of betrayal have gone back as far as the start of mankind itself. No matter the reasons one thing is clear, the act of betrayal has consequences for both parties involved.
Consider Cain and Abel
The biblical story of Cain and Abel shows how jealousy can cause a person to become irrational and take a course of action that under normal circumstances would never be considered. These verses from the Bible show us the foundation of what soon came to be Cain’s betrayal of his brother.
“And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.”
Genesis 4:3-5
This quote shows how Cain is jealous of The Lord’s acceptance of his brother’s offering of the firstborn of his flock, yet the Lord doesn’t welcome Cain’s offering of fruit that he cultivated. This event serves as the catalyst to Cain’s unspeakable crime as it forms the jealousy between him and his brother.
“And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.”
Genesis 4:6-7
The Lord tells Cain not to be jealous of his brother, for if he does well, he will be accepted too. Despite the Lord’s loving words to Cain, his jealousy continues to build up to the point that he rises up against his brother and murders him. Cain’s envy of his brother had overtaken him to the point where he felt the need to betray his brother in the worst way, by taking his life. This is not the only example of betrayal that is found in the bible.
Simon Peter’s Betrayal of Jesus
Peter’s betrayal was only temporary, and he quickly repented, but it also shows us some other causes of betrayal. With Peter it was probably a combination of fear, hanging around with the wrong crowd, and desertion from fellow believers.
Judas’ Betrayal of Jesus
Judas betrayal of Jesus shows how deception and greed drives even the closest people to you to betray. Judas was one of Jesus twelve Disciples, the closest followers and confidants of Jesus himself. Being in the inner circle of the Messiah was apparently not enough for Judas as he betrayed his master for silver.
“Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve. And he went his way, and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him unto them. And they were glad, and covenanted to give him money.”
Luke 22:3-5
Judas’ desire for wealth and power overtook him leading to his betrayal of Jesus. Even though he was one of the twelve, his personal desire was more powerful than companionship and loyalty. “But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?” (Luke 22:48)
Judas ironically betrays Jesus with a kiss, a sign of affection, and not violence. Although Judas didn’t crucify Jesus, he was the one who gave up his position so that he may be captured and executed. Judas was supposed to be one of Jesus’ followers and have faith that he was the Messiah, yet his desire for wealth and power had caused him to give up what he believed in for money. In secular history, Julius Caesar, like Jesus, was also betrayed by one of his closest confidants except his followers sought power and not greed.
The Betrayal of Julius Caesar
Acts of betrayal are also prevalent in secular history. The events of Julius Caesar’s death show how betrayal can be caused by a desire for power; Caesar was murdered by his own senators. They were driven to conspire against Caesar because their authority was dwindling due to his increasing power and popularity. They wanted the power they once held before Caesar had taken the throne. The conspiracy against Caesar encompassed as many as sixty noblemen, including Caesar’s own dear friend, Marcus Brutus. Brutus was a very close friend of Caesar, yet he helped lead the plot to murder Caesar. The desire for power was so strong that even politicians close to Caesar still carried out his murder. Caesar’s final words would show how disheartened he was when he saw one as close to him as Brutus was taking part in his murder.
It is likely that many times in life you will find yourself betrayed. It is important to learn to deal with it in a godly fashion. Let us also hope and pray that we will always have faithful friends and family that we can count on no matter what. Let us also pray that even when we are betrayed, we will seek God’s grace to still be able to maintain our trust in others. Don’t let the treachery of the betrayer rob you of that blessing.
If you have betrayed the trust of someone, it is not too late to repent. Do you really want to align yourself with Cain, Judas, Absolom, and Satan himself? I think not. You are greater than your failure. Through Christ, just like for Simon Peter, you can find forgiveness and acceptance. Don’t be a betrayer.
Dr. Worthington has been in the ministry for over forty five years and serves as President of Pathway Ministries and Christian Bible College.