“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
Philippians 2:4
Something that amazes me is how many people I come across in certain positions of care, that really don’t care! There are school teachers, medical staff, civil servants, even pastors, that make it pretty clear they really don’t care about people. We take into account that people in these positions can have a bad day now and then, but I’m talking about those who have shown a pattern of not caring.
Judas was someone who acted like he cared, but he really didn’t. Politicians act like they care but it’s only to secure votes. Businesses act like they care, but it’s only to sell a product. Media outlets act like they care, but it’s only to boost ratings. A person can make a sincere sounding apology, but it may only be to avoid further trouble. I’m not saying this is true across the board for any of these groups, but it does happen; and it happens a lot. Often, people are not as sincere and caring as they would like you to think they are.
I guess we’ve been guilty of this on occasion. In our sinful nature, we naturally care about ourselves first. Sometimes we’re the only ones we do care about, and just because we are saved doesn’t mean we won’t be tempted to have a lack of concern for the welfare of others. Perhaps it might be prudent to identify the ways we don’t care. We also need to identify with the things that perhaps we might care too much about.
Sometimes it’s not that we don’t care, it’s that we care too much about lesser things. Sometimes, we really do care, but due to a lack of knowledge or training, we just have trouble showing it. I know there are also times when we care, but we’re honestly not able to do anything about it. But, what about the times when we can help but don’t? And then there are the times when we finally do help, but only because we know we need to, not because we really want to. Helping is better than not helping, but helping because we care is much better. May I share some thoughts?
FIRST: Most of us care about the big stuff. You can hear it in our conversations. We care about the unborn, racial injustice, religious persecution, sexual harassment, child abuse, immorality, authority figures who abuse their power, corrupt politicians or businessmen. Yelp, we care about all that stuff, because it is easy to care about! It usually requires no effort at all on my behalf. All I have to do is gripe, and I feel good about griping, because it shows how much I care.
SECOND: It’s the “little” stuff that we miss caring about. Maybe the first thing you and I need to do is to ask this question “What should I really be caring about right now?” That question will help you settle a lot of other questions. What is it that God wants you to do today, this very minute? Those responsibilities may be given by your spouse, your employer, your government, or your God. They also may be given by yourself. These are the things that you feel need to be addressed right now.
Now, I know pretty well what my responsibilities are today, but I find that unless I constantly go back and review them I can quickly get side tracked. With all the interruptions added to my unfocused mind, the idea of my responsibilities can get a little fuzzy from time to time. Would that be true of some of you? Do you sometimes get side tracked? It is a good thing for me to step back and say “Now, Lord, remind me once again of what my priorities should be today?” And in that moment of review and prayer, God refreshes in my mind the things that really matter.
THIRD: We need to develop an attitude of caring. It has to start with your heart somehow being changed. How do you do this? The Bible teaches us in Romans 5:5 that, “the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” It is the love of Christ makes us do what we do.
Next, we need to develop a caring spirit everywhere we go. I am referring to a constant commitment to care. I try to discipline myself to make sacrificial caring something I do many times each day.
Then, look for specific people to bless. Our contacts with most people are largely superficial. You pass people day by day and say “Hello, Jim. How are you?” And he says, “Fine. How are you?” You say, “Fine.” Then, you both go on your way. It didn’t mean a thing except that you greeted each other in passing. And so, if you’re going to care about people, it means you have to stop and interact with them.
What is there about this person that I need to be concerned about? What is there about this person about which he or she may be burdened or unhappy? And what is there about this person, assuming that there’s something over which he or she is burdened or unhappy, what is there that I can do about it? To care about somebody doesn’t necessarily mean to be emotional about them. It does mean to stop and think about them rather than just passing them by like ships that pass in the night.
“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Stop and think about people. Consider what their needs may be. You’d be surprised what the Lord will do for you as you pray specifically for the needs of others. Often, the Holy Spirit will suggest to you something that He wants you to do as a result of your praying and then do what you can out of your own resources. To care about a person means stop and think, pray, and then do what you can. Now, you can’t do everything but you can do something.
Obey that “generous impulse.” When you have the impulse to do something generous, why not just do it? God will help you do this if you’ll think about people, if you’ll pray about them, and then if you’d be willing to do what you can personally for them. I believe this is what the Bible refers to as “a succourer,” (Romans 16:2) an effective helper of people in their need. You don’t know what God has for you, but you have to start somewhere by caring.
As we truly learn to care, can you imagine how that might revolutionize our church fellowship? When you learn to walk into the church with three or four people in mind to say, “I just want to touch that person this evening and refresh them, encourage them, support them, and bless them.” I know this can be challenging for an introvert, but to love people, you have to interact with them. Have a small conversation here or there. This is the true beauty of our fellowship when we can express it through mutual care for each other. When we are unified in mission and in our care and concern for each other, we will be better positioned to show love and care for others outside the church. There are so many little ways to show your care. These caring actions give legitimacy to our witness.
A FINAL WARNING: If you care, you will get hurt. Paul says in II Corinthians 12:15: “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.”
Paul says I, for my part, will spend, all I have to help you. And yet, with all that, there was the painful knowledge they might not return his love and care. I learned a long time ago that if I trust people, I will get betrayed. If I love people, they will not always love me back. If I support someone, they may stab me in the back. And, if I care for people, that does not mean they will care for me. However, the other option is to go through life never trusting, never loving, never caring—and I refuse to do that! I would rather care and be hurt than to go through life as an uncaring soul.
Sometimes that happens even in our own families. Parents take care of the kids and when the teenage years kick in, they don’t acknowledge or appreciate all that you’ve sacrificed for them. Hopefully, as they get older and more mature, they will realize how much their parents really did for them and how they didn’t show much gratitude for it. We can also be that way toward God. He has done a lot for us; His care is beyond measure. Sometimes we too are like ungrateful teenagers.
In closing, when we are truly unified as a church, we will care for one another in tangible ways. We will render our care physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. So, what’s holding us back? To be a church means to be a community of believers that carry one another’s burdens. Imagine what the Church would look like if each of its members would share the weight of the load.
Dr. Worthington has been in the ministry for over forty five years and serves as President of Pathway Ministries and Christian Bible College.