Parents have a hard time these days. I am glad I didn’t have to raise my children in this day with all aspects of life at their fingertips. If we allowed them, our children could have any type of knowledge, any time they want, without the wisdom to handle it. And now that house phones have become cell phones, it is even more dangerous. Hopefully, most of their phones do not have internet access. However, that is not the trend that I see.
Parents are also working long hours and then picking up their children from the daycare program or from their grandparent’s house. Perhaps they have been alone all afternoon until Mom and Dad get home. The family meals are eaten in front of the TV, and the children are oblivious to the family unit. Parents are laden with guilt because they feel they are never with their children, and this leads to many discipline issues. Moms and Dads do not discipline since they have very little time with their children. What has happened to our families?
To make ends meet, many times there is no choice but for both parents to be working long hours and continue working when they get home. I know some parents who have made many sacrifices to be able to be home more and devote themselves to the home. Even with the obstacles, some parents are still making their children a priority. This involves keeping late hours due to obligations from the job or completing household responsibilities. The list of things to do is endless.
There is way too much stress in our society. The hard-working people, which are harder to find these days, are carrying a weight on their shoulders that was not meant to be. We were all meant to work and take care of our own families. Now, we are working to feed our families and two more families that are not working. Remember the Scripture in II Thessalonians 3:10. “…that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” Taxes are way too high and the dollar’s value is way too low. In the 1950s, a family could live off of one income and now it is difficult to survive on two. This should not be.
This puts us too busy to see what is around us. Mothers had to go to work to help support the families. It is perfectly fine if a woman wants to work outside the home, but it should be a choice. My mom worked outside the home, but we were always at the forefront of her mind. I have worked outside the home since my children began school. I was fortunate because my ministry was children, so I was able to be around mine throughout the day.
Many women find themselves working long hours, picking up the children, then getting supper and baths, then before they know it, it is bedtime. They squeeze in the homework and quality time in the minutes in between. Families have to make this difficult choice.
Some families have this schedule because they wanted a newer car or a nicer home. That is not the parents I am talking about. They have accrued massive debt in order to have material possessions. These things should never come ahead of what is good for their families. We don’t need to fool ourselves into thinking it is better to give things to our children than to give of ourselves. Besides, material possessions can ruin our children.
As a child, my mom handled the inside of the house and my dad handled the outside of the house. He was usually the one that helped me with my math, and Mom helped me with my English as needed. Of course, when Algebra came along, I was on my own. Dad worked later in the day, but my mom was at home when we were home most of the time.
Both of my parents loved me very much, and I know that nothing would ever change that. My dad was an unusual man. I was as assured of his love as I was my mother’s. It was just a different kind of love. Both of them loved me unconditionally.
In Science Daily, it said the mother is more associated with the softer side of love and the sharing of feelings and identifying problems. They are more observant of the inner feelings of the child. It said the mother’s love is boundless. Whereas the father is more concerned with the harder side of the child’s development. He guides them to be stronger in mind and through their education and career. The father is also more willing to let the child learn through the school of hard knocks. He also is the protector of the family, but a child feels more secure with his mother.
When I read the scientific definition of the differences in the mother’s love and the father’s, I realized that these were generalities. In my personal life, my father was more tenderhearted than most men, yet he was still very manly. My mom was also very interested in all areas of my life. She was very concerned about my education.
Does this comparison hold true in your family? I think families are more diverse than they were years ago. In today’s world, both parents are working and both parents are helping inside and outside the home. I am not sure it is possible to be the parent of the 1950s. Our society won’t allow it, but we can still be the parent God wants us to be. Ephesians 6:4 gives us specific instructions. We are to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord.
Our prayer is that as our children become adults, they will be a shining light for our Saviour. No matter how good a parent we are, sometimes our children rebel against what they are taught. With all of our efforts, it still seems hopeless. In Luke 15, the father of the prodigal son lets his rebellious son go into the world. Why would he let him go? Has he given up on him? Has he written him off? I should say not.
Sometimes with our children, we must let them experience the consequences of their actions. We do not know if the father in this story had battled for years or if this was a fairly recent rebellion. But we do know he realized the son would have to leave in order to come home. We know that he had not given up or written his child off because he was looking for him. He saw him from afar off and proceeded to run to him and kiss him.
As a parent, we should never write our children off, which by definition means to count them as a lost cause or a waste of time. To give up on our child would mean that we never had unconditional love for them in the first place. We may have to make our adult child leave the home, or we may have to allow him to spend time in jail. But make no mistake, that does not mean that we love him less or have lost hope that he will repent and come to Jesus. Tough love is often necessary to bring about repentance.
Being a parent is a difficult responsibility. Each child is different and each has his own challenges. As parents, we need to dedicate our children and ourselves to God. Be prepared to love them no matter what the outcome. By God’s grace, they will grow up to be followers of Christ. If we have followed God’s precepts, then we will have helped to further the kingdom. Love God with all your heart, your mind, and your soul. Pray without ceasing, and the rest will fall in place. Never give up on your child!
Mrs. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.