Have you ever wondered what it would be like to read someone’s mind? I have often thought that it might be nice to know what people were thinking. Especially when someone I love is acting differently. However, I have come to terms with the fact that it is better not to know. I sure wouldn’t want anyone to be able to read my mind all the time.
I have often felt that as a parent, it would be nice to know what my child was thinking. Can you imagine what it would be like if, at 2:00 in the morning, we could look into our babies’ little minds and know what was wrong? We would know if they were sick, hungry, wet, or just mad. It would make knowing what to do for them so much easier. What if we could anticipate their next move and know when they would need us? What if we always knew what our teenagers were thinking? I am not sure we could handle those revelations. However, it would take a lot of guesswork out of being a parent, but at what cost? Would we really get to know them? If we had an instruction book that told us every detail we needed to know for the next 20 years, would we learn them? Would we try? How do we learn people? How do we get to know them?
The simple answer is we have to spend time with them. We must study them. I have studied my husband, my children, my friends, my family, and my students to figure out what makes them tick. I am still working on all of the above. It is a never-ending process. As they evolve, I must grow with them.
When we truly love someone, we try to anticipate their needs. If they need encouragement, we want to be their cheerleader. If they need support, we want to be there to lend a helping hand. If they just need to talk, we want to listen. Love knows no bounds. Even when they need forgiveness, we want to give it, or do we?
Forgiveness seems to be the hardest gift we give to others. In reality, forgiveness is not just a gift, but it is also a commandment. Ephesians 4:32 states, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” We are to forgive others the same way Christ forgave us. What does that mean?
Our Lord is tenderhearted. He doesn’t make people beg for forgiveness nor remind them of how they have failed Him. He just says, “I forgive you.” He always wants us to come to Him. In Matthew 11:28, it teaches us that Jesus will give all who are heavy-laden rest. He wants us to ask for His forgiveness and become children of God.
As a child of God, we are to forgive with a willing heart. He has always told us it is a gift. All we have to do is reach out and take it. John 3:16 reminds us that Jesus is waiting for us to ask Him to be our Savior. To be a child of God, all we have to do is believe in Him and ask for forgiveness. The statement “as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” means we are to forgive others in the same manner as God did for us. It is a gift! Do we need to make other people beg for forgiveness or list their offences before we will consider forgiving them? In our bitterness, we hold things against them and wait for them to mess up again. We don’t forgive. We say we do, but we really don’t. When we discuss the offense with others, and we won’t let it go, we haven’t forgiven.
I remind myself of the many ways Jesus forgave me. I think of how much He puts up with on my account, and how He constantly forgives me, no matter how often I sin. He never reminds me of my past sins. I am always His child, but to restore fellowship when I sin, I do have to ask for forgiveness. He is always there waiting to give the gift of forgiveness. He forgives me! I have a hard time forgiving myself sometimes, but He never struggles to forgive me. I know God is perfect, and He is able to erase our sins from our account, but we need to do the same for those around us. When the past transgression pops into our minds, we must remind ourselves that we have already forgiven them and move on. Do we want our Lord to constantly be thinking of all the ways we have failed Him?
When Jesus died on the cross, He covered the sins of the whole world. The ones in the past, the present, and the future. His sacrifice was enough for all to be saved and for His children to be forgiven for all future transgressions. So, we are forgiven before we ask. Romans 10:9-10 teaches us the final step of forgiveness and the redemption of our souls. We must confess that we believe. We accept the free gift of salvation that Jesus gave us. On the cross, Jesus even asked forgiveness for his tormentors. Why? They did not ask for his forgiveness. In fact, they laughed at Him, but He still loved them. Why do we wait for people to beg for forgiveness before we forgive them? The state of our heart is determined by whether we forgive or not. When bitterness takes root, fellowship with our Lord is broken. We cannot be close to the Lord if we do not forgive. We don’t have to trust those who hurt us or be close to them, but we do have to love them.
I have often struggled with the command to be like Christ. How is that possible? I don’t know how to be like Christ. In reality, I cannot be like Christ. He has to live in me through His Spirit. I have to abandon myself and strive to be like my Savior. God wants us to experience Christ. He wants us to search the Scripture for strength through the Holy Spirit. Remember what we said earlier? In order to get to know someone, you have to spend time with them. We must pray and read our Bibles, but then go into the world and practice being like Christ. The more we practice, the more we will become like Him.
The more we forgive others unconditionally, the more like Christ we become. The more we practice the other attributes of the Father, the more we will love, the more we will serve, and the more we will share the Gospel. If we study the qualities of Christ, the only way to be like Him is to die to our own desires and emulate our Savior.
We are not perfect, but the more we lose of ourselves and give to others freely the gifts our Savior freely gave us, the closer to our Lord we will be. He does not expect perfection; He just expects us to be willing vessels in which the fruits of His Spirit will be manifested.
What a challenge! But, oh, how exciting the adventure will be!
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23
Dr. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.