As a teenager, I was in positions of leadership. I was a leader in my youth group, I had my own bus route, and I was a lead puppeteer at my church. In all of these situations, I was still under an adult’s watchful eye. If something went wrong, it was not my responsibility to figure out what to do next. If the bus broke down, I did not have to find a way to fix it.
When I married Thurman, the definition of leadership changed for me. Thurman became the pastor of Pathway Baptist Church and we started Pathway Christian Academy, so my responsibilities rose to a new level. As a mother, I was used to the responsibility of leading my children and keeping my home in order. But now, I was responsible to lead other people, and I was responsible for their spiritual guidance. Besides being a wife and mother, I was a pastor’s wife and a leader in a fledgling school. I knew we had very little money coming in, and our teachers were working for their children’s tuition. I had to show confidence in the future and God’s ability to provide. I could not show my doubts, and I had to be strong.
My husband often reminded me that a general cannot show fear during a battle. His soldiers would become afraid and lose confidence in the battles to come. We were like generals in God’s army, although I felt like a private. I was having to learn so much so fast. I read a couple of John Maxwell’s books on leadership along with studying some leaders in the Bible. I also learned a tremendous amount from my husband, but the greatest lessons I learned were from my mistakes.
For example, I learned that even though I was upset, I must show confidence in the Lord’s ability to work things out. There were so many times that I faced this type of situation. As a parent, when our children were sick or had been injured, I had to show them a calm face of assurance. I remember when our son fell on his bicycle, and his stomach began to swell. I was terrified that he may have been seriously injured. I put on a confident face, although I was afraid on the inside. He was not seriously injured, just bruised. When my parents were very sick and the doctors had said their time on earth was short, I had to find ways to be encouraging and make their remaining days as pleasant as possible. I fixed their favorite foods and tried to find ways to make them smile. There have been many occasions when I had to put on a confident face and have tried to share encouraging words in different relationships.
The most challenging time as a principal at Pathway Christian Academy was when Hurricane Matthew came through, and the academy flooded. When I saw the aerial pictures, I cried many tears, but it was in private. I knew this one was going to be tough. Fortunately, I had many opportunities to face my fears and to control my emotions before this flood. I had learned that as a leader I could not let my emotions be in control. I had to let Christ lead through me. We knew when our staff saw the school for the first time, we had to have a plan. The expense was going to be great, the work was going to be hard, our students had to have a place to go while we rebuilt, and we had to show a positive attitude and confidence in the future. There were times when my heart was heavy, but we pressed on. The academy was rebuilt, and the students came back to their school. We finally paid off the debt from Hurricane Matthew and Hurricane Florence a couple of years ago. It took about six years, but we did it with God’s leading through my husband and generous contributions from friends and family of Pathway.
In so many instances in the last 30 years, I have made so many mistakes. There is no way to recall all of them, but I will share about one situation. When I first began to work at the academy, I was told by Mrs. Hughes, my predecessor, “You realize half of what you do this year will be a mistake.” When I heard that, I honestly felt she didn’t know what she was talking about. By the end of the year, I was a believer. I would tell the parents everything their children did and my opinions of what they did. I learned quickly that most parents cannot handle unbridled truths about their children nor should I tell them every infraction. I made a lot of people mad because of this. I learned I must tread softly. I can only cover one thing at a time. I must always be kind and thoughtful with my delivery. One set of girls wanted to sing “Friends” at graduation that first year. I refused because all they had done was fuss and fight all year. It was constant drama. Well, the parents became angry because I was judgmental, and the girls did not return the next year. I was unkind and thoughtless. I learned that not all truth has to be told, sometimes I am not right, and sometimes I keep it to myself. Fortunately, I have learned to work with people and control my tongue a lot better. There is always room for improvement.
As a leader, I must remember that people are counting on me. My husband needs me to be by his side and support him in all that he does. I need to be his sounding board and speak up when I see something that he doesn’t. God gave us each other for a reason. My children were counting on me to be their mom. When they were younger, they needed my love and support, but they also needed me not to be afraid to tell them no and make them mad. It was more important to teach character than to be their buddy. Now that they are grown, they need a friend who will love and help guide them through the unknown. As a teacher, my students are counting on me to be there and teach them about God along with their academics and character lessons. As the principal, my staff needs someone to love and care for them, but someone unafraid to point out ways they can improve and teach them from my own mistakes. People in our ministry depend on my husband and me for their paychecks. God is the Provider, but we are the tool he is using. We must continually seek ways to spread the Gospel and grow the ministry so that we can continue to be the conduit from which it flows. As a pastor’s wife, if someone doesn’t do it, I get the opportunity to serve. I have taught Sunday school classes and served in the nursery many times because no one else was available or able. It is my responsibility and privilege to check on the elderly ladies and the sick. The responsibilities are endless when you are a leader.
As a leader, your work never ends. I never stop thinking about one area of my responsibilities or another. Your mission doesn’t stop when you clock out for the day. There is work to be done all the time. No matter when or where, there is always a problem brewing. The desire to fix the problem is always prevalent. Some problems are easier to solve than others. It may be as simple as running to the store to pick up an item we need or building a stand for the air conditioner unit. Some problems are more difficult. Whether it is a student issue or a family issue, the people problems are the most difficult to fix, especially when the person doesn’t want the issue to be fixed. The most daunting thing about leadership is that you are an example to everyone that follows you. They are looking for an example of how they should live their lives. Jesus Christ is the true example, but we are the flesh and blood on this earth. Philippians 3:17 says we are to be ensamples to all of God’s children and lead others to Him. Leadership has been one life lesson after another. I am still learning and will be learning about leadership until I am in the grave. Each stage of life brings new problems and challenges, and we must learn to face them as God would have us to.
Mrs. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.