From the time I was a young child, my parents instilled in me the importance of doing a good job. When I finished playing with my toys, I was taught to put them away. When I made my bed, I knew I had better do it right. My parents had the habit of making me do things over when I did not do them right the first time. I quickly learned that it was much faster to do it right the first time than to have to do the chore again. By the time I was 12 or 13, I began babysitting. I really thought I had arrived when I had my first babysitting job over the summer. My mother had taught me that when I was babysitting, I should make myself useful. I should not be on the phone, and I should earn every dime I receive. I would wash the dishes that we used and pick up after the children. I also did some chores around the house. A word to the wise: I learned that when I went the extra mile meant I was called first next time they needed a sitter.
I carried these habits with me throughout my life. My first job was at Kentucky Fried Chicken. I also worked as a day care worker, an office helper, and at a grocery store. I held these jobs from the time I was 16 until I graduated from college. Each of these positions taught me many things. I learned what to do and what not to do from my different managers over the years. I now realize that each job and experience helped shape the person I am today.
Later in life, as I grew in the Lord, I realized my job had become more of a ministry than it had been. I had always known that whatever job I had, it should honor God, and I should serve Him in whatever employment I was in. When we started Pathway, ministry became the main motivation. I have served at Pathway for over 30 years now. I see each student and staff member as someone God has placed under my care, to be nurtured and helped to grow in Him. The parents are also very special, not only to me but to the rest of our staff as well. As always, I have learned more from the people I am shepherding than they have from me. When I think I know what to do, the Lord quickly shows me how little I know. I have learned so much, and I am still learning every day.
However, my greatest ministry is to my family. I love each member of my family with all my heart. I am honored to be my husband’s helpmeet and best friend. I am constantly learning more about him each day. My children and grandchildren are very precious to me. It is one of the most rewarding yet challenging ministries I have ever experienced. Like yours, each of my children and grandchildren is different. We understand that what works for one doesn’t work for the other. Motherhood is such an incredible responsibility. The Bible teaches us to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4b). Being a parent requires a delicate balance. We need to show our children God’s love, but also teach them the difference between right and wrong. We should praise them when they do well, but correct them when they do wrong. The first part of Ephesians 6:4 warns about fathers provoking their children to wrath. Mothers are guilty of making our children angry, too.
I believe there is a delicate balance. We provoke our children when we do not believe in them, and we find fault in everything they do. When we harp on them for their mistakes, we expect perfection. We are often guilty of not listening to our children when they talk to us. Perhaps we are always on our phones or busy doing other things. Many parents have told me that their teenagers won’t talk to them about problems. If we are too busy to listen to them about the little things when they are young, how can they trust us with the big ones? As parents, we must always stay interested in the small and big things in their lives.
I also believe we can do just as much damage when we spoil our children and don’t hold them accountable when they do wrong. Often, it is difficult to look at things from both sides. Our tendency is to want to believe everything our child says, but we forget that they see things from their own perspective. Of course, sometimes they are simply lying. We almost have to act like private detectives to find out the truth. When our children were young, it was often when they were being overly sweet that we realized they were up to something. It is our responsibility to believe in them and to hold them accountable. It is better that they learn about the consequences of life from us than from others or their first boss.
One of the most difficult responsibilities of being a parent is constantly setting an example of how a Christian lives. The only way to do that is to let Christ live through us. As parents, we must be an example of a disciplined life. Can they see the fruits of the Spirit in us? We won’t always display every fruit of the Spirit, but our children should believe that we live out what we teach. They can say, “Mom and Dad are not perfect, but they try to live like Jesus.” Do we speak badly about the people in their lives? Do we hurt those they see as role models? My husband and I always aimed to keep the people in our children’s lives in a positive light. We knew they were basically good people; they had flaws just like we do. We believed that someday they might need someone to talk to and might not feel comfortable talking to us, so we wanted to provide them with some Godly options. James 3 warns us of the harm a tongue can cause. Our words can hurt our children in so many ways.
Do our children see us reading our Bibles? Do they see us in prayer? Do they see us loving others more than ourselves? Do we follow the first and second greatest commandments? We must love the Lord our God with all our heart! We must love our neighbor as ourselves. (Matthew 22:37-39) Do we have unconditional love for them and our spouse? Love is tough, yet tender.
Don’t we realize that unconditional love is the key to all ministry? Let us be sure that we have unconditional love for our children and grandchildren. The way we raise our children and influence our grandchildren in our Lord’s service is one of the most important ministries we will ever have. I would love for my Lord to say, “Well done” in all areas of my Christian walk, especially in my ministry as a parent. Our heavenly Father loves us so much, but He holds us accountable. Let us do the same for our children. May each of us be the example they need. Their future depends on it!
Dr. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren. She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.